If It Makes You Happy
by dantesdarkqueen
Summary: The first time Azrael met Revan, and his reaction to his mother's new boyfriend. Knowing how much his mom loved his dead father, how can she betray his memory by going out with another man? Ties with AmazonTurk's Discovery and Operation:Assassination. OCs


**Summary: **The first time Azrael met Revan, and his reaction to his mother's new boyfriend. Knowing how much his mom loved his deceased father, how can she betray his memory by going out with another man?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own FFVII or its canon characters. Akalara, Andria, and Azrael belong to me, Kandi is the brain-child of AmazonTurk, and Revan was cooked up by kingmunkey. Ephemeral, and its lead singer Laseedra Vaneth, are both products of my attempts to have good my favorite bands in my fics without copyright infringements. These hare-brained oneshots are entirely mine.

**Queen's Quornor: **I'm drawing a blank on the oneshot I want to write, which is a smutty fic detailing the first time Sephiroth and Akalara made whoopee. I normally don't have a problem writing smut (I think "Seed" has proven that), but I've got writer's block on that one. So out of desperation, I've turned to Azrael, Ak and Seph's little boy. And he gave me this instead. So if this sucks, blame the boy!

If It Makes You Happy

It was wonderful to have her son back in her life.

Akalara would never stop mourning all of the firsts she had missed in his childhood. She had missed his first crawl, his first word (according to Monica, it had been 'Mama', spoken mere seconds after she left the apartment one night), his first step... She hadn't even been there on his first day of school. For his safety, she had sacrificed so many potential moments and memories with him.

But now that Azrael was with her again, she wouldn't miss a second of his life.

He seemed happier, too. Monica had mentioned that, even as a baby, he had always gotten so excited when his mother had managed to get away and come see him; now he was ecstatic that he could live with her instead of only seeing her every weekend she was free. And Akalara was thrilled that he was happy with the new arrangement. She hadn't known if he would be receptive to the idea of living with his mother for the first time in eight years. After all, the last time they had been together 24/7 had been when he was two months old, before she had had to give him to Monica to raise in secret. It would have broken her heart if he had wanted to continue living with his surrogate mother instead, but she would have respected his wishes and shown a brave face, just as she had ever since she gave birth to him.

That fear hadn't been valid. Azrael had almost taken her to the floor, tackling her in a hug when she asked him if he wanted to move into her apartment last Monday.

And now he was with her, no longer separate and secret. Her fellow Turks knew who he was and how he was related to her, and they would protect him as fiercely as she did. Her fondest wish, that of having her beloved son with her, had come true. And she had long since given up hope of it ever happening.

But in incorporating her son into her life, Akalara had some unforseen issues to deal with. The biggest one, right now, was how to introduce Azrael to the men in her life. Reno had already met him, the night Kandi and Andria had moved into their new apartment, and the senior Turk thought his lover's son was cool. Azrael had been quizzical of Reno at first, but he didn't object to the redhead's hugging and holding his mother. He had shot him a mean look when he saw the adults sharing a quick kiss, but hadn't said anything.

Revan, however, was still relatively unknown to Azrael. Akalara had decided to formally introduce them at the swordsman's apartment, since they were staying there anyway while the paint in her son's new room dried. And that's where they were going now.

The green-haired Turk's biggest fear was that Azrael would hate Revan - or even her - because he was romantically involved with her, his mother. And from the time he was a toddler, she had told him stories about Sephiroth, his biological father, and how much she had loved him back before the Nibelheim incident and Meteorfall, and how much she loved him still, years after his death. Would Azrael see Revan as a threat? Reno he hadn't reacted much to, but what about the other man in her life?

Akalara glanced over at him as she turned up the radio a notch, filling the car with the dulcet tones of Laseedra Vaneth's beautiful voice. Azrael was looking out the window, watching the structures and people of Edge pass by with his head propped by his hand. Her apartment was on the outskirts of Old Midgar, but Revan's place was in the newer city, along with Tifa's Seventh Heaven bar, where Azrael would be staying after school until his mother could pick him up.

"Mom?"

"Yeah, Az?"

"Why aren't we staying with Andi and her mom?"

Akalara glanced over at her son, flipping on the turn signal. He was still looking out the window, but she saw the edge of a crimson iris at the corner of his left eye, watching her. "They probably don't need houseguests right now, since they only just got settled yesterday. So we're staying elsewhere until the paint dries."

"Where _are _we staying?" he asked, turning to look at her with curious cranberry eyes, an exact match to her own.

"We're staying with one of my coworkers, Revan Seijakuken. He's letting us crash in his apartment for a couple days." Akalara stopped at a light, letting Ephemeral's "Bring Me To Life" wash over her while watching her son out of the corner of her eye. "He's like Reno, Az."

"You mean he's your boyfriend?"

"We're not exclusive, but yeah, he is." She was not oblivious to her son's sudden scowl. "Is that all right with you?"

Azrael's answer consisted of a single wordless shrug. Then he turned his gaze back out the window, and Laseedra Vaneth's was the only voice in the car.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Azrael hitched his backpack higher, following his mother down a strange hallway of an apartment building he had never seen before. The place seemed nice enough, not exactly luxury accomodations, but not cheap either. His mom's apartment building was nicer. Which stood to reason because, from what she had told him, his father was the one that had gotten it for her.

He brushed his hair out of his eyes with the back of his fingers, casting a quick glance up at his mother. She had told him that she loved his father when he was alive and still did, despite his untimely death. So what was she doing with other guys, if she cared so much about his father? He desperately wanted to ask her, but he didn't want to overstep his bounds. It was true that she was his mother, but didn't she deserve a chance to be happy? If she couldn't be with his father, that was.

All the same...

"Well, here we are." Akalara set her dufflebags down in front of one door, then casually leaned against the wall beside the doorjamb. "Az, will you please move away from the door?"

He eyed her curiously. "Why?"

"Just trust me. Move away from the door."

Azrael had no idea why she didn't want him in front of the door, but he obeyed nonetheless. Once he was on the other side of the doorjamb, his mother raised one hand to a specific spot just above the knob. Curling two knuckles, she tapped out a rhythm in alternating degrees of strength. After completing the seemingly-random series of knocks, she started the whole thing all over again.

Once the second series was over, she took her hand away and crossed her arms, still keeping well away from the door. After a few minutes (and an odd humming noise from the general vicinity of the door), Azrael's sharp ears picked up the tell-tale sliding of chains and clicking of locks from the other side of the door. Once those sounds ceased, the knob turned and the door opened. A tall man with shoulder-length blond hair and cool blue-green eyes appeared then, his attention fully on Azrael's mother.

"You're earlier than I was expecting, Ak," he told her, with a perfect white smile.

"Traffic was light." Akalara grinned at him, then reached a hand out to Azrael. Eyeing the blond suspiciously, the boy took his mother's hand and drew close to her. This man may be involved with his mother, but he couldn't help feeling a little threatened by him, and what he meant to her. "Rev, this is my son, Azrael. Az, this is Revan, my other boyfriend."

Sharp cranberry eyes noticed a slight flinch in the blond's shoulders, the merest tightening in his eyes. But he covered it masterfully, before Akalara saw it. "So you're the reason Ak never had time for me on the weekends." Revan looked at him with no small amount of curiosity. Azrael stared right back, his hold on his mother's hand increasing. At last, the blond turned his gaze away; the boy smirked in response. "I still say he looks like Valentine with his hair like that, Ak."

"I've told you why I dyed his hair, Rev." Azrael closed his eyes and tilted his head against his mother as she gently combed her fingers through his blackened tresses. "But I can't do a thing with his eyes."

"I don't want you to. They are yours, after all." Revan bent down and snagged the straps of her bags, holding both easily in one hand while he gestured inside the apartment. "Come on in. _Me casa es su casa_."

Akalara laughed. "When did you start learning Solien? I thought you were more interested in Wutaian."

Revan grinned at her over his shoulder, leading them inside. Glancing back over his shoulder, Azrael's eyes widened when he saw ten plastic, spring-loaded cartridges mounted against the back of the door, with serrated, circular razor-blades loaded and ready for launch. "You should know, more than anybody else, how full of surprises I am."

Azrael looked up at his mother, noticing the soft flush that came to her face then. "I do. You always find new ways to surprise me."

"Hopefully you'll never find me boring, then." The blond sat the dufflebags down on his sofa. "Okay. I have a spare room he can sleep in. You can have my room."

One emerald brow arched. "And where will you sleep?"

"I'll take the couch."

"Rev..."

"You're my guests! I don't mind sleeping on the couch. It's not like it'll be the first time I've done so." He gave her a smile then, a darker one that spread slowly across his face. When Azrael looked up at his mother, he saw an answering smirk dancing over her lips.

"I know, Rev. I know."

Feeling vaguely uncomfortable, Azrael tugged on his mother's hand then. "Mom, what are we doing for dinner? I'm starving!"

The blonde chuckled and shook his head. "Don't you feed your son, Ak? He's a growing boy; he needs his dinner!"

Crimson eyes rolled, and Akalara tossed her forest-colored hair behind her shoulder. "He's a growing boy who knows how to play on sympathetic adults. I bought him dinner right before we got here."

"Well, he's not the only one who's hungry. How about I order us a pizza?" Revan suggested.

Azrael smiled, deciding to continue playing the innocence card until he got a better measure of this guy. "Only if it has mushrooms."

His mother smiled fondly at him and ruffled his hair. "Extra mushrooms."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Azrael sat up and ran his fingers through his hair, glancing at the clock beside the bed. It was almost two in the morning, and he just couldn't get any sleep. Probably it was from being in an unfamiliar place, but he just couldn't get tired or comfortable or anything. The red-eyed boy drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, thinking.

His mother was dating two men, both of whom were Turks, just like her. Both were very handsome, and seemed to treat her well. It was obvious that she really liked them, and they were just as attracted to her. Though whether that was due to her exotic beauty or something else, he couldn't guess. There was no denying that his mother was a beautiful woman, as well as rather unique in her looks. But where her true beauty lay was in her heart and soul; Azrael was fully aware of just how devoted she could be to her loved ones, how much she was willing to suffer on their behalf. He knew she could be difficult and jealous sometimes, and that she wasn't possessed of an even temper. But few women he had met could be as loving and empathetic as his mother…when she felt like it.

Women like her were few and far between. She would make a fine catch for any man out there, those two included. But his mother was still in love with his father; why was she going out with other men if she felt so strongly for him?

That was what made him so uncomfortable around Reno and Revan. He felt like he was watching a betrayal, and was powerless to stop it or even tell his father about it. But his father was dead; didn't that mean his mother was allowed to move on? To find happiness with another man?

But she was in love with his father. Wasn't she betraying his memory, her love for him, by getting into these relationships?

Azrael dug his fingers into his midnight-dyed hair, gripping the silver roots tightly. He was just a kid; he had no idea how to take the presence of the two men in his mother's life.

Feeling a certain pressure building in his groin area, he threw back the covers and slid out of bed, padding over to the door in bare feet. The apartment was dark when he peeked out into the hallway, but there was a faint glow of lamplight from the living room, where Revan was sleeping. Crossing the hall swiftly, Azrael found the bathroom and slipped inside without more than a cursory glance at the living room.

Once his business was finished, the red-eyed boy turned off the overhead light in the bathroom and started to open the door. But he froze when the squeak of another door echoed down the hall, then quickly shut the bathroom door until only a small crack shone between it and the lintel. Kneeling on the tile, he put one eye to the crack and waited, tense with anticipation and anxiety. Could it be a burgler? Monica had dealt with several before she'd bought a new apartment in Edge, so that was nothing new. But the anxiety was still there.

Nope. It was only Revan, stumbling down the hallway half-asleep towards the living room.

Azrael waited until the couch-springs creaked, then quickly returned to his room. He was sliding back under the covers when a thought suddenly struck him.

What was Revan doing going _towards _the living room, _from _his mother's room?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

When Akalara knocked on the door to the guest bedroom, she was surprised to note that there was no reply from the opposite side. Her son normally called out to her, either in welcome or snapped acknowledgement. Sometimes he would get up and open the door to embrace her in greeting. But today, there was only silence.

Unnerved by this uncharacteristic behavior, the green-haired woman turned the knob and pushed in the door. Azrael would just have to deal with his mother's intrusion; there wasn't a thing he had that she'd never seen before.

Expecting to find him sleeping, Akalara was instead met with the sight of her son sitting on the edge of the bed, staring into the full-length mirror hung on the wall. His eyes did not meet hers when she came to sit beside him. They remained fastened on the silvered glass, on the molten roots closest to his scalp.

"Az?" she queried. "What's wrong?"

His crimson eyes remained on the undyed roots of his hair. "Mom, are you and Revan having an affair?"

The rookie Turk drew back, shocked by the blunt question. Her eyes sought his in the mirror, but he avoided her gaze. "How does that make you feel, if we are?"

Now Azrael did turn to look at her, and there was a glassy quality to his eyes that made her heart melt. "I'm not sure. It's almost like... I want you to be happy, Mom. But at the same time, I feel almost like you're betraying Father, and your love for him. I don't know how I should feel."

Akalara sighed and closed her eyes, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I don't know either, Az. I truly don't."

"Then why are you doing this to us? Going out with him and Reno, if you still love Father."

She wished she had an answer for him. But she didn't. How does one explain something to an eight-year-old child when one had no idea how one felt in the first place? But his pleading cranberry eyes demanded that she give it the old college try. "Because I don't want to spend my life by myself, Az. As much as I love him, your father is not coming back. He's in the Lifestream, and he's...there to stay." She choked back the tears that brimmed at the very words, cool logic winning against fiery emotion. This time. A thousand of her tears had fallen since Sephiroth's death, and likely she would shed a million more before she saw him again. "I care about Reno and Revan, though. So while I would love nothing more than to be with your father, I'll settle for the next best thing. And they are exactly that."

"But you're not alone. You have me!" Azrael pointed out, burying his face against her thigh.

Akalara's eyes fell shut once more, as a warm wetness soaked into the fabric of her nightgown amd his shoulders shook. She began to run her fingers through her son's hair, trying to soothe him. "I know, Az. I know. But Revan and Reno can give me something you can't, a type of love mothers and sons should never, ever share. I think your father knows that, and understands. More than anything, I think he would want me to just be happy in this life. I was happiest when I was with him, but now that he's gone, I feel something like happiness when I'm with Reno and Revan." She bowed her head, sorrow overwhelming her senses briefly. "I'll take whatever happiness I can get, since my chance for true love was stolen from me."

"But why don't you pick just one or the other?" he asked, his voice wavering. "Why do you have to have _both_? Do you need them both to be happy?"

Her heart clenched then, as a thought filled her head. She wasn't happy with either of them, but she was at least satisfied. The one man who had made her happy...was dead. "Az, I..." She wiped a few tears of her own away. "I don't know if I'll actually ever feel happy with either of them. But I need to have a man in my life. If I try to go through it all alone again, I don't..."

"You don't what?"

"I don't think I could."

Azrael turned his head to the mirror, his eyes finding hers. "What do you mean, Mom?"

She shook her head, a tired smile adorning her face then. "Nothing, Az. Nothing at all." She pushed him back into a sitting position and gently wiped away his tears then. "Your father understands why I'm doing this. It's not a betrayal at all, though I wish it was. He'd still be with us, then."

Azrael gazed up at her for a moment, then got up on his knees and threw his arms around her neck in a fierce embrace. He'd never met his father. His mother was the only family he had, and talk like that frightened him. If he somehow lost her, too... "Don't leave me, Mom! Not again!"

Shocked by his outburst, Akalara wrapped her son in her arms and pulled him closer to her. "I'm not leaving you, Az. Where'd you get that idea?"

"Just don't leave me, Mom! Please don't!"

The door opened, then, and Revan poked his head inside. Taking in the goings-on - Azrael crying against his mother's neck, Akalara comforting him as best she could - he caught his green-haired lover's attention with a wave. _Son all right?_ he asked in Turk Sign.

She nodded, then took one hand away from her son's back to flash him a quick message: _Fine. We out soon. Make food._

Revan nodded with a smile, then closed the door soundlessly behind him. Akalara turned her attention back to her son, with no real idea about what had upset him so deeply. "Az, I promise, I'm not going anywhere. My word on that." Azrael nodded against her shoulder, then sat back up and swiped away his tears. "You all right?"

"Yeah. I'm okay, Mom." He pulled his shirt away from his arm, then let go of it. "I need to get dressed. Are you making breakfast?"

"Revan's going to help, but yes." She hesitated. "Is that all right with you?"

The red-eyed boy nodded, though he didn't look at her. "If it makes you happy, Mom, it's all right with me."


End file.
